COOK, THE - DVD review

The cover for the DVD of "The Cook" deceived me. With its title character framed inside giant cleavage while being clung to by five women, I figured I was going to have to try and suffer through some lame "American Pie" knock off. Which would be fine if I weren't old enough to buy pornography, but I am, so I'm no longer willing to sit through ninety minutes of fart jokes just to see some nipples. Instead of a sophomoric attempt at sexual humor, what I got was a campy black horror comedy, with great gore, an entertaining killer and, of course, gratuitous nudity.

A handful of sorority sisters are left behind at their house when the rest of the girls leave town for a long holiday weekend. While the majority of the house's inhabitants have left, the remaining girls are expecting an arrival; their new house chief is scheduled to start during the break. The only problem is that he's Hungarian and doesn't speak a word of English outside of "Ok," which is always proclaimed with a thumbs up. Well, perhaps that's not the only problem; he also can't keep himself from killing the girls one by one and then serving them to the unsuspecting students in a variety of ways. Sloppy Joes, corned beef, it doesn't matter; all the sorority sisters stuff their face with his meals, truly reinforcing the phrase "You are what you eat." The only girl who's not in constant danger of becoming an ingredient is the one the cook has taken a liking to, but is Amy (Makinna Ridgway) really safe, or is she just being saved for the final course?

"The Cook" is by no means an original film. The sorority-girls-in-danger plot device was best seen in the original "Black Christmas" and has been abused by numerous scriptwriters in the thirty-plus years since its release. All of the sorority girls are paper thin caricatures of female horror-movie clichés: The innocent virgin, the pothead, the slut, the Bible beater, the angry lesbian, the tease, the list goes on and on. But by never taking itself seriously, "The Cook" succeeds where other generic films fail. It doesn't hurt that its lead, Mark Hengst, who plays the killer known only as "The Cook," obviously had a great time in the role, and that glee carries over to the audience. This is a breakout performance from an actor whose previous roles were bit parts in films like "Camera Man" and "Bookstore Fan." Mark my words; we'll be seeing a lot more of Mark once this film catches on.

For the majority of the cast and crew "The Cook" is their first attempt at a feature-length film, and it shows. The script's a bit loose and full of plot holes, the lighting is off in several scenes, and the editing could have used some help; but for a film made by first timers on a $250,000 budget, the final product is surprisingly entertaining. The gore is plentiful and unexpectedly vicious in some scenes, and the comedy is far more effective than one would expect. The cook goes through the film speaking only in Hungarian, while the rest of the cast delivers all their lines in English. Some of the best scenes come from the girls' inability to communicate with their new chef. In one scene Amy is attempting to flirt with the cook even though they don't speak the same language. He's speaking to her in Hungarian that she can't understand, but she still replies in English that his language is beautiful and that she finds him charming. Meanwhile, the English subtitles of the cook's dialogue reveal that he's been telling her that he's killed her missing friends, fed their remains to women of the house, and will do the same to the rest of her sisters. It's a great scene that rests on the shoulders of Hengst's gleefully maniacal yet charming performance. He both looks and acts like a slightly more demented version of celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay.

In addition to the well-crafted humorous moments, "The Cook" also serves up some tasty gore and mouth-watering t and a. Almost all of the girls in the film are unusually hot for a straight-to-DVD, low-budget horror film, and almost half of them disrobe at one point or another. While I earlier stated that I'm past the age where nudity is a necessity for films like this, I also have to admit that it's nice to see a film that isn't full of cringe-inducing boob jobs and meth-scarred faces. My only complaint about the women of "The Cook" would have to be directed at the scriptwriters who seem to be drawing off some adolescent fantasy by having a strong majority of the girls engaging in lesbian activities throughout the entire flick. But I guess that's to be expected of a low-budget horror flick starring an almost all-female cast, written by three guys that have never gotten a script to the screen before. I always thought it was supposed to be one out of every ten people that were gay, but I guess that statistic needs to be revaluated to include that one out of every two sorority girls share more than scrunchies with one another.

Video:
"The Cook" features an anamorphic widescreen presentation with a 2.35:1 aspect ratio, and at times it looks better than the film's budget might suggest. But the picture quality is fairly inconsistent, and the lighting is dreadful in multiple scenes. All in all, it's better than most low-budget horror flicks but not above average.

Audio:
Both the Dolby Digital Stereo and 5.1 audio tracks are fairly average, with the exception of the scene where a lame, slow, jazz song with vocals discussing "sweet loving" overtakes the entire scene.

Extras:
The audio commentary with executive producer/writer/editor Nicholas Bonomo and actors Mark Hengst, Makinna Ridgway, Kit Paquin, Nina Fehren and Brooke Lenzi is lively and fun and stays away from the annoying problems that plague most multi-person commentaries. It also revels the film's origins came from a trip to Ikea where the director thought it would be cool to have a killer that used a melon baler on his victims.

"Behind The Scenes: The Cook" is an almost five-minute montage of behind-the-scenes footage, with a generic rock soundtrack. It's a nice addition to the disc but a bit dry. "Mark Hengst (The Cook) Audition Footage" is three minutes, validating the filmmaker's choice for casting the charismatic Hengst.

Film Value:
Funny, gory and sexy; "The Cook" is the most unexpected fun I've had watching a DVD so far this year. The cheesy "National Lampoon presents"-style cover is totally misleading and would have kept me from picking it up at the video store. Thankfully, I had it sent to me, and I was able to enjoy this smart, fun film. Some of the gore might be too much for some viewers who pick it up based on the misleading cover. But if you're looking for an enjoyable horror comedy that doesn't take itself too seriously while delivering the sex and violence, give "The Cook" a try. Besides, once Mark Hengst becomes a star, you could say you were into him before he got big.