DARK RIDE - DVD review

The general complaint about horror films by people looking to disregard them is that they feature stupid characters making stupid decisions that ultimately cost them their lives. As a fan of the genre, I can agree that it is one of the more formulaic aspects of the genre, particularly slasher films. Recent unimaginative flicks such as "See No Evil" and the remakes of "Black Christmas" and "When a Stranger Calls" are good examples of bad movies featuring stupid teens getting themselves offed. But sometimes a slasher film is so inventive and entertaining in its concept and mythos that the necessary inclusion of stupid teens can be overlooked or even appreciated. After all, don't you have to be kind of stupid to get yourself trapped with a killer in the first place?

If the characters were smart and made all the right decisions, the movie would be over and nothing would have happened. Stupid people make stupid decisions ending in their demise every day; just read the hilariously true series of books "The Darwin Awards" for proof of that. So once the blissful bunch of teens in "Dark Ride" start getting dispatched by a masked killer, don't look to me for jaded comfort. I'll be to busy enjoying all the gratuitous non-CGI gore. With countless films over the past few years proclaiming themselves as the return to eighties' horror greatness, "Dark Ride" is the first to actually deliver; all without ever announcing itself as one.

Dark rides are the boardwalk carnival attractions that featured all the cheesy scares one could endure for the ticket price. They were generally low-budget versions of Disney's Haunted House ride, with some lazy-eyed sex offender working the booth. The attraction featured in "Dark Ride" is no different, with the exception of the brutal murders that took place inside it, of course.

Ten years before, twin girls got on a dark ride at a boardwalk in costal New Jersey; they never got off, instead becoming an uncooked dinner for the maniac that existed inside. It turned out that a developmentally disabled lunatic named Jonah (Dave Warden) and his younger brother actually lived in the ride. Eventually, the childlike Jonah snapped and began recreating the vicious acts the mannequins on the ride were only pretending to carry out. After the discovery of the gutted girls, Jonah was sent away to rot in an undisclosed asylum while his little brother was never seen again.

Almost a decade later, a van full of sexy, nubile drug-using teens are driving along the New Jersey coastline on route to some hot spring break action. All the required slasher characters are present inside the van: the nerd, Bill (Patrick Renna); the oversexed, drug-addled jock, Jim (Alex Solowitz); the uptight prude, Liz (Jennifer Tisdale); the crazy yet sexy hitchhiker, Jen (Andrea Bogart); and the arguing couple, Steve (David Rogers) and Cathy (Jamie-Lynn DiScala). After stopping at a gas station, Bill returns to the van with a flyer announcing the reopening of a dark ride that was closed after two girls were viciously slaughtered there. The reopening doesn't occur for another three days, and the group decides to save a little travel money by skipping a hotel and boarding inside the ride for the night. Unfortunately for them, they aren't the only ones on their way to the ride with the bloody history. After being antagonized by a couple of sadistic orderlies, Jonah retaliates against his tormentors and in a spree dripping with gore escapes the confines of the sanitarium and makes his way to the only place he's ever called home.

While not necessarily the best of the eight films featured in the After Dark Horrorfest that ran in select theaters last fall, it's easily the goriest and most fun. Unwilling to take itself too seriously but never lowering itself to the sad standards set by what passes for a slasher film these days, "Dark Ride" tries a little harder and it shows. Sure, the characters are paper-thin representations of the often-used slasher-victim archetype, but with the exception of "The Sopranos'" Jamie-Lynn DiScala, the actors put a lot of effort into their roles, which gives the film a personality not seen in most of today's gorefests. Scenes featuring the hilarious Alex Solowitz elevate the film from the average direct-to-DVD release; then, throw in a little gratuitous nudity and several over-the-top scenes of thick, meaty gore, and you've got yourselves a "Dark Ride" well worth the ticket price.

Video:
Like all the films released by Lionsgate in their After Dark Horrorfest collection, "Dark Ride" is presented in widescreen with a 1.78:1 aspect ratio. Unlike the rest of the releases, however, "Dark Ride" looks as good as any movie shot by a major studio. All the colors stay dark and true, and there is none of the grain noticeable in most of the other releases.

Audio:
"Dark Ride" also has the same audio tracks as its siblings, 5.1 and 2.0 Dolby Digital, and once again they sound better than any of the other releases by far.

Extras:
Anyone who enjoyed the film will get a kick out of the entertaining commentary provided by its energetic director, Craig Singer, and its producer, Chris M. Williams. Midway through the commentary, Singer announces that he and his crew went to great lengths to make a film using just practical effects and ended up having to use CGI only once. It makes a world of difference when compared to films that use digital blood and gore, which immediately takes the viewer out of the movie-watching experience. With proclamations like "I'll take puppets over CGI any day," director Singer better watch out; I might be falling in love.

Also well worth you time is the fifteen-minute, behind-the-scenes featurette "Ticket to Ride." I've had to sit through a lot of these self-congratulatory commercials full of stiff people behaving way too seriously while discussing the film they're working on. For the first time that I can recall, the actors and crew (with the exception of the seemingly vapid DiScala) behave like real people, ones that you would want to hang out with. The candid, on-set interviews are genuinely amusing, and everyone understands that they're in a fun horror flick and enjoying it. Sadly, "Behind the Mask," a fifteen-minute look at the effects, has no audio, and while it's interesting, the featurette would have benefited from the charisma apparent in the other special features. Also included is a two minute storyboard montage that is about as exciting as it sounds.

The final bonus feature included on this packed disc is seventeen minutes of deleted scenes, which with the exception of one were better left on the cutting room floor. But the one that matters is the original opening discussed on the commentary, featuring Jonah disembowelling the two young girls. It is absolutely disgusting and would have changed the tone of the film completely, but possibly for the better. It was obviously removed because of its traumatizing nature, but why this wasn't edited back into the film for the DVD release is beyond me. It would have prepared viewers for the later gore and legitimized Jonah as a killer character, no pun intended.

Film Value:
It's been a long time since a new slasher film burst on the scene with a killer begging to be elevated to the iconic status of a Michael Meyers or a Jason Voorhees. While many jaded fans might cry heresy, I believe the cherub-masked Jonah deserves the bloody sequels necessary for addition to that pantheon. The stunningly beautiful Jen's be"head"ing and the "splitting" headache Jonah gives a cop were two of the best reasons to shout "Oh ****!" in a theater last year and still hold up on the DVD release. While "Dark Ride" won't change the view of slasher films for most people, it will easily entertain the gore-fed masses and leave them hungry for more Jonah.