GET OVER IT - DVD review

The movie "Get Over It" convinced me of three things, and three things only: 1) Colin Hanks, son of Tom, has a chance at being a star in his own right (and his eyes have the quirky intelligence of his father's); 2) Hollywood should put a moratorium on high school comedies if they all have scripts like this piece of shit; 3) Kirsten Dunst can do little wrong as a performer, no matter how bad her movies end up being.

My god, "Get Over It" ranks as one of the worst movies that I have ever seen, period. I admit to seeing this movie because of Kirsten Dunst (and, to some extent, because of William Shakespeare), but I can't help but feeling so let down by the Hollywood movie system. The big screen should entertain or enlighten, not numb and bore.

Recently, Hollywood flooded the market with teen-oriented fare filled with gross-out gags and jokes. While it wasn't marketed as one, the PG-13 rated "Get Over It" is one of the ugliest, misogynist, sexually disturbing movies on the market. There is a sudden flash of a young lady's breasts, and youths with full command of the DVD remote will be able to pause at the exact frame of anatomical exposure and zoom in on the unfortunate, disgraced actress. Model Kylie Bax plays a hapless bimbo who has a hand rudely shoved between her legs while she lies on a hospital bed with her arms and legs hoisted towards the ceiling. There is also a scene at a strip club where powerfully disgusting things happen to the protagonist. What kind of sick joke is it to be able to let KIDS into a movie with a scene set in a strip joint?!?

The mean-spirited attitude of this film towards its subjects provokes shudders, not laughs. "Get Over It" makes "American Pie" look like it belongs on the American Film Institute's list of the hundred greatest films.

You wanna know how bad "Get Over It" is? Miramax honchos Bob and Harvey Weinstein usually can't wait to plaster their names as executive producers over any Miramax/Dimension release. Their names are nowhere to be found in the credits of "Get Over It."

In the film, Allison (Melissa Sagemiller) dumps Berke (Ben Foster). She immediately hooks up with the new boy in town, "Striker" (Shane West). Allison and Striker audition for the school's rock production of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream," so Berke decides to try out for the musical in order to win Allison back. Meanwhile, Kelly (Kirsten Dunst) tries to help Berke sweeten his vocal cords for singing. A problem arises because Kelly is Berke's best friend Felix's sister. (Colin Hanks plays Felix.) There are a ton of other characters, but they only serve to clutter the sidelines. There are cameos by Vitamin C, Carmen Electra, the aforementioned Kylie Bax, Swooshie Kurtz, Ed Begley, Jr., Coolio, and an extended cameo by Sisqo. Martin Short plays a lecherous Hitler of a drama teacher. They blow.

Every part of the film feels painful to watch, and even Miss Dunst's trademark energy and aplomb cannot salvage any ounce of watchability for this film. In fact, she looks dreadfully tired throughout most of this sordid enterprise, as if she couldn't believe her lousy luck.

Ben Foster registers no charisma or presence whatsoever; indeed, EVERYONE upstages him even though he plays the central character. How in the hell he ended up dating Dunst in real life, I don't know.

Did I laugh at all? Sure, but I laughed at the movie's thudding stupidity.

You know what? The less said about this film, the better. I give up.

P.S. Kirsten can actually carry a tune--her singing voice is wonderful. Please, Kiki, don't ever act in bad movies again. Make your fans proud, and start getting those Oscar-worthy roles.

Video:
The 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen picture looks very strong and clear, as is to be expected from such a recent release (March 2001). Colors look appropriately vibrant for a film with such a wild palette, and little shimmering or edge enhancement is evident. However, the transfer seems to have some problems with grain, especially during the-play-within-the film sequences. Dark backgrounds look spotty compared to the white costumes of the actors.

Audio:
The soundtrack (Dolby Digital 5.1 English or DD 5.1 French, take your pick) is mostly just loud. A booming subwoofer can disguise the fact that the surround channels don't get much discrete information, just some pumping music and heavy-handed swooshes. As the film is a piss-poor attempt to resurrect the song-score musicals of a bygone era, you will be bombarded with all sorts of music every few minutes. Sure, the audio sounds rockin', but there's not much in the way of subtlety that would push this presentation into the upper echelons reserved for "Saving Private Ryan" or "Macross Plus."

Only English subtitles and English captions support the audio.

Extras:
Listening to the audio commentary on the DVD edition of "Get Over It," my worst fears were confirmed. Basically, the filmmakers wrote, shot, and edited a "teen" film with outrageously tasteless dialogue and onscreen action, and then they took the film to the movie ratings association and trimmed the film little by little just to eke out a PG-13 rating. To have made an ADULT film and then hacked away at it simply to try to get a commercially desirable rating is unconscionable. Think about it, "Get Over It" began life as a lewd and crass product without a single artistically salient point. (Director Tommy O'Haver and writer R. Lee Fleming, Jr. also talk about how they were inspired by the success of "Shakespeare in Love," and...you know, I'm sorry, these two have no clue about how to make any idea any good at all.)

Of course, you can find a good deal of the edited material in the DVD's special materials section. There are a handful of deleted and extended scenes (eight) that show how the filmmakers edited the film in order to avoid the R-rating. Usually, I like deleted/extended scenes. Here, they just reveal how corrupt the system is. You can view these scenes with or without audio commentary.

Martin Short plays quite possibly the most objectionable character in the movie, and he gets showcased twice in the extras. There are some Martin Short outtakes, and there is a silent "makeup test" with the actor. Lemme ask you something, when did OBNOXIOUNESS become a substitute for true humor? This is desperation at its worst.

The stunningly brief, seven-minute "featurette" shows precious little that you won't have already seen if you've ever seen behind-the-scenes footage of a filmed production. To add insult to injury, the "featurette" replays the scene where the unfortunate actress needlessly bares her breasts AGAIN for the camera. Filled mostly with inane interviews, this piece of junk is the reason why we reviewers fear "featurettes" so much.

There are two music videos--Vitamin C's "The Itch" (with a Kirsten Dunst cameo) and the "Love Scud" video headlined by one of the film's characters, who plays a former member of a boyband.

The DVD's most pleasant extras are the five songs that play without any video footage. Taken out of context, the songs make little sense, but at least I could enjoy Miss Dunst's voice without being forced to watch the awful movie.

As has become fairly routine with Buena Vista (parent company of Miramax) DVD releases, there are trailers a-plenty for OTHER BV films (plus a soundtrack promo) but not for the main feature itself.

A glossy insert showcases the DVD keepcase's front-cover artwork and provides chapter listings.

Entertainment Value:
Kiki, Kiki, Kiki...why? Well, I suppose even someone as talented and destined for posterity as Kirsten Dunst will endure her share of nuclear bombs. At the very least, the film showcases Miss Dunst's decent singing voice. "Get Over It" ranks with "Down to You" (ALSO A MALA VISTA RELEASE) as not only among the worst teen-oriented films made but also as among the worst films EVER. Before I saw these two films, I thought that nothing could beat "Highlander" for sheer wastefulness. Now I know better.

Usually, I don't feel that there is much constructive in my criticizing poster artwork, but the theatrical poster for "Get Over It" was uninspired (the cast just stood in a line as if at some sort of cattle call). The DVD cover art is damn ugly, too. No, I didn't play around with this DVD on an off day. On any day and by any standard, "Get Over It" stinks to the ends of the universe.