STAR WRECK - DVD review

Maybe my expectations for "Star Wreck," a recent DVD release from Revolver Entertainment, were simply too high. I was optimistic I'd see something creative that took elements from the brand it spoofs, "Star Trek," and be somewhat ridiculous, somewhat silly and downright funny to watch unfold.

Instead, I watched something that tried really hard to be a comedy, a spoof and creative with its special effects and character portrayals, yet totally failed and underperformed. This film is not a "hilarious comedy," and it doesn't have "incredible visual effects" as the keep case might have you believe. It's just bad.

I'm spoiled rotten, I know. I grew up watching stuff Mel Brooks did, especially "Spaceballs," which I still think is damn entertaining and funny. Plus I enjoy good impressionists, especially that Frank Caliendo fellow. And I've seen just about everything Robin Williams has done on the big screen and television.

But I didn't want or expect something to that level from "Star Wreck." I can't remember what exactly I was hoping for, to be honest with you (I think it's because watching the film messed with my mind), but whatever it was, my objectives were not met. Sigh. Of course, you might argue that this film isn't exactly for "Star Trek" fans after all. Heck, you could tell me it was made for a wider audience, perhaps those who like action titles, or other comedies. Maybe if you prefer some not so normal characters who have their own issues and quirks you'd appreciate "Star Wreck" more than me. Or, you might just take my word here. Just this once. C'mon…

According to the press release, "Star Wreck" has been seven years in the making. Thanks to five Finnish fans and well over 300 assistants, supporters and extras, this film took off and became reality. Some casual internet sleuthing at the Internet Movie Database shows that other "Star Wreck" films, bearing familiar names from this one, have been around since 1992. Those were mostly short films made for and by a really specific audience. Apparently, the same five fans are also students from Tampere, Finland. They've crafted material over time, but went big with this one, and have another project, called "Iron Sky," in the works. Yelp.

There really isn't much you need to know about the plot. The film takes a traditional "Star Trek" idea, which includes getting into some trouble while on a "mission," and rearticulates it in its own way. We meet a few characters, including the unobservant, unaware and uninformed Captain James B. Pirk. He runs the show on the Starship C.P.P. Kickstart, but can't get through the days without his crew, including Commander Info and Commander Dwarf. They're not all that excited to be taking orders from Pirk, especially because he puts in next to no effort. You'd think a mutiny was on its way, but sadly, we're stuck with Pirk from start to finish.

Anyway, as the ship makes its way through space, they stumble on a fleet where other folks are minding their own business. Pirk thinks his awesome power will be able to show these new folks that he's the boss, and it works! Well, until he and his crew discover that the whole easy to conquer thing was really just a game to confuse and disorient the C.P.P. Kickstart into disarray. Shocked? I wasn't.

What we're left with are some antics that unfold when it's convenient for the filmmakers, but not necessarily the viewers. It almost felt like these devoted fans were so strapped for resources they couldn't place the film's elements where they'd prefer, but instead had to settle for where they hoped they'd flow and function. To no one's surprise, this just didn't cut it. It's unfortunate because you have to be a passionate fan to make something like this go down, but you don't have much control as to how it sinks or swims.

Nothing really works in "Star Wreck." The acting is below average (remember, these individuals are fans, not actors), the script is more congested than a San Francisco Bay Area freeway, the effects look way too unauthentic and the movie just doesn't establish itself so its viewers can take in the experience. I recall a few "whoops, my mistake" jokes, like when Pirk puts down an adult magazine instead of his sci-fi magazine for his friends to check out, and there are one or two good lines to be found in the film's 105 minute run time. But these pluses simply can't overcome the many minuses throughout "Star Wreck."

Normally, reviews go into greater detail and analysis. There isn't much to work with in "Star Wreck," and since I think you're able to tell I wasn't really a big fan, I'll cut it some slack. I applaud these Finnish student fans for their dedication and hard work, but wish they'd put out a more successful final product. I suppose you don't know what you can (or can't) do until you try, and now at least they've nowhere to go but up. Maybe if they're lucky, Scotty will beam them up.

Video:
"Star Wreck" looks decent enough, but there's no doubt it's fabricated. The 1.33:1 transfer is clear, but the characters look blurry compared to the surroundings. Colors are decent, but no one moves through the spaceships or other settings with any natural appearance. It feels fake.

Audio:
The Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound track holds its own. Background music and sound effects come through loud and clear, but the vocal components have their highs and lows. The film is in Finnish, but comes with English subtitles you'll probably check out quite often. There's plenty here worth not hearing, so this isn't really an issue. Still, worth noting.

Extras:
Some bloopers, an audio commentary from director Vuorensola, a feature building up the next film these folks claim is worth watching, and something called "Definitive Inside Out," which I didn't really understand. It's an offering worth watching if you enjoyed the film, and since I didn't, well…

A Final Word:
If you're able to, please avoid "Star Wreck." It's just not funny or entertaining. As devoted as these fans were, they couldn't put something worth watching together. The comedy is too sporadic, the film feels too forced, and the characters have as much personality as a cardboard box. It's a small budget fan based spoof, and a miserable one at that.