SUBURBAN GIRL - DVD review

"Suburban Girl" follows on the heels of two other adaptations of chick-lit novels, "The Devil Wears Prada" and "The Nanny Diaries." Unfortunately for the filmmakers (fortunately for others), "Suburban Girl" failed to get a theatrical run and found itself downgraded to a direct-to-DVD release. The film is adapted from the short stories, "My Old Man" and "The Worst Thing a Suburban Girl Could Imagine," which are collected in the best-selling book, The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank. "Suburban Girl" was originally going to maintain the novel's title, but had to change it and some of the characters' names due to Francis Ford Coppola and American Zoetrope owning the rights to another of the Bank's stories. The film is written for the screen by first-time director Marc Klein who also wrote the romantic comedies "Serendipity" and "A Good Year."

Sarah Michelle Gellar takes a break from battling ghosts in horror films and "Scooby Doo" to play Brett Eisenberg an associate editor at a big-time publishing house. Brett comes from an upper-middle class family in the suburbs and now lives the fast life in the Big Apple. Right from the start, we know she's the type of girl who will go on to learn how to be a strong, independent woman by the end of the film. Two of the people in her life are Chloe (Maggie Grace), a flighty fashionista who hates books, and Jed (Chris Carmack), her meathead boyfriend who has been gallivanting around Europe for the past six months. Brett is floating through life somewhat directionless and can't quite make decisions. This latter trait is helpfully pointed out to us during the opening titles. We watch Brett proofread a manuscript, scribbling tiny notes then promptly crossing them out, re-writing them, then crossing them out again, etc.

Looking to make waves and earn a promotion, Brett attends a book signing in order to rub elbows with important people. She winds up rubbing more than just elbows with Archie Knox (Alec Baldwin), a renowned and powerful publisher. Knox is well known in social circles as a playboy with an affinity for younger women. Yet, Brett is easily charmed by the worldly older man and quickly dumps Jed who admitted to shacking up with some blond in Sweden. Her personal life gets turned upside-down at the same time as her professional one, when Brett's long-time boss is fired out of the blue and replaced with Faye Faulkner (Vanessa Branch), a sexy British ice queen who doesn't wear underwear in the office.

Brett and Archie's relationship starts off on the right foot, despite the significant age difference. As time goes on, their romance opens up painful memories as both have deep-rooted daddy issues. For Brett, it has to do with her relationship with her father, Robert (James Naughton), and for Archie, it's him trying to be a father. Brett's association with her father is the furthest from being tumultuous, in fact, they get along swimmingly. Robert is always there for his little girl. And that's the problem, he still sees his daughter as a little girl. Brett is constantly waiting for her father to just open up more. He won't give his honest opinion on any of her beaus. When Robert discovers he is dying of cancer, he refuses to tell Brett, thinking he would spare her feelings. Archie is dealing with two ex-wives and an estranged daughter he never sees and hardly ever speaks with. Thus, Brett finds her perfect man, an idealized father figure who will give her the strong, forceful advice her real father will not. Archie instills some culture into Brett's life by bringing her into his rarified world. He takes her to exclusive parties, gets her to finally see "Citizen Kane" and teaches her how to be more assertive at work. On the flip side, Brett tries to help Archie re-connect with his wayward daughter by getting him to listen to hipper music. This leads to an unintentional case of art imitating life (Baldwin's publicized answering machine rant) when Archie is stood up by his daughter and screams at Brett. Another scene, he says, he left a "message" for her.

I have nothing against May-December romances, but there is something slightly creepy about Brett and Archie's relationship. When Archie tells Brett exactly what she should wear to a fancy shindig and I half-expected it to be a Catholic schoolgirl outfit with ribbons to tie her hair up into pigtails. I also wasn't dying to see a doughy Baldwin go shirtless while making out with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It also doesn't help that Gellar and Baldwin have no chemistry. Individually, their characters are quite simply dull so turning them into a pair gives us a double helping of boredom. Sparks just do not fly when they are on-screen together. I don't believe it has anything to do with the actors rather; it has more to do with the stagnant script. Baldwin's Archie Knox is like his Jack Donaghy on "30 Rock" dialed way down. Gellar does well enough playing the coy and naïve young woman, even though her acting abilities aren't strong enough to handle the heavier dramatic moments. Perhaps, if the two had better dialogue to work with they could have mustered a modicum of electricity. Like any pseudo-intellectual literati, Klein sprinkles their conversations with a liberal dose of high cultural references from Ibsen to even Judy Blume. It comes off as slightly too smug.

"Suburban Girl" has all the trappings of a romantic comedy such as the meet-cute, the wacky best friend, and the montages set to frothy pop music. Despite the standard rom-com first act, the second and third acts of the film take a turn towards the more melodramatic. The majority of the film plays as an episodic look at Brett's family life and work life with each section preceded by chapter titles. The film just muddles along and the characters are so irrevocably bland that it's difficult to connect to anything at all.

VIDEO:
The video is presented in anamorphic widescreen with an aspect ratio of 1.85:1. The picture is extremely crisp and clear. The colors are strong and not a single speck or scratch is to be found.

AUDIO:
The audio is presented in Dolby Digital 5.1. The sound is very well-done. Since the movie relies heavily on dialogue, it's not the type of DVD to truly challenge your system.

EXTRAS:
This DVD includes an audio commentary with writer/director Marc Klein. Klein talks about the usual subjects such as on-set anecdotes, how he worked with the actors and what they were like, etc. He also discusses the challenges of being a first-time director, what mistakes he made and what he learned for the next film.

Also included is the film's theatrical trailer and previews for "Undead or Alive" and "Fingerprints" which run at the start of the disc.

FILM VALUE:
"Suburban Girl" wears its influences on its sleeve. You can see a little "Devil Wears Prada" in it, a little bit of "Sex and the City" and a few dashes of Woody Allen thrown into the mix. Those same ingredients may have worked before, but they don't come together for this one. Not all movies shunted to a direct-to-video release are stinkers, but "Suburban Girl" doesn't do much to relieve that stigma. It is a lifeless affair that's doomed for the five dollar dump bin at Wal-Mart.