ZETA ONE - DVD review

Would the world be all that bad of a place if a bunch of topless aliens from the planet Angvia (move the ‘n' and the ‘v' around to spell something else) invaded our planet? Sexy females who had no problem offering sex would overpopulate us and do whatever it took to gather information or get us under their rule. Unfortunately, this is not exactly the premise of the film "Zeta One" and the real reason the inhabitants of Angvia are kidnapping Earth women is never truly explained, except it is apparent they are amassing a large sizable force of warrior women. Of course, if you are looking for a plot, then I'm sure the thought of watching "Zeta One" never crossed your mind.

Yes, there are a large number of attractive and topless aliens invading England. Agent James Word (Robin Howden) is shacking up with Anne Olsen (Yutte Stensgaard) and explaining to her the desire to stop the invasion of the Angvia women. Of course, she is just another Angvian trying to stop Word from thwarting their unexplained plans. Word is given the task of protecting a woman, Edwina (Wendy Lingham) that is suspected to be the next kidnapping victim of the Angvians. To keep him from protecting the girl, a sex-kitten is sent to occupy his time. It appears that the Angvians have come to the conclusion that the best way to prevent a man from completing his task or altering his actions is to have sex with them for hours.

The film moves along, and nothing is ever explained. For some reason, Angvians. Led by Zeta (Dawn Addams) are kidnapping attractive women and sleeping with men to keep them from stopping the kidnappings. They are taking the women away via a van to the Earth outpost of Angvia. From there, the evil (I suppose it is evil) plan will be unhatched. At one point, Word must invade their outpost and rescue a hostage, but Word mainly acts as a narrator and many of the films events happened in the past and Word is simply bringing the audience and Anne up to speed. The film moves back and forth between the present and the past, and does its best to hide its soft-porn underpinnings in a plot.

"Zeta One" lacks any story and if you are looking for an award winning look at sex and the pop sixties, then you have made a mistake even reading this review. Acting is naturally, sub par. However, if you are looking for a sexier alternative to Austin Powers and you want to seem some soft-core representations of shagging, then you will find "Zeta One" to be a fun film. Yes, it is silly, and there isn't much reason for many of the women to be running around topless, but if the premise of an alien invasion is enough for them to be doing so, let them bare their assets. Some of them are rather nice assets and they should be shown. The film may strive to capture some of the style of "Barbarella," and it never succeeds in doing so, however, it is far superior to more recent genre pieces like the 1991 Troma film "Vegas in Space." To put it simply, if you want to enjoy some of the Sixties pop culture and see some nice tits (absent in Austin Powers films), then "Zeta One" will surely entertain.

Video :
There is just something odd about watching a film like "Zeta One" and honestly having to explain that you are looking at the picture quality and not the silicon-less natural assets being flaunted every other scene. Alas, it is true; I really was taking a close look at the film for its picture quality. Of course, the only reason I ever picked up a Playboy was to read the articles. They looked good in "Zeta One;" the various aspects of the transfer that is. Colors, though slightly dated are well saturated and fill out nicely with no color bleeding. Hues are perky and lively. There is no bounce to the picture; it is generally stable. The picture is full-framed to an aspect ratio of 1.33:1. There were no noticeable digital compression issues to be spotted, and film grain was held in check. A few minor flaws in the source materials were here and there, but didn't detract from the viewing experience. Seriously and puns aside, Image did a good job of bringing this obscure title to DVD.

Audio :
I love to hear a woman speak in a British accent, even if it is some poor acting. The accents were here and there, and so was the sound quality. Delivered in Dolby Digital Mono, dialogue was clear and understandable (as understandable as can be when listening to Brits). One or two pops were heard through the film. The dynamic range of soundtrack was flat. The soundtrack was dated, but that was to be expected for a piece of Sixties pop sexploitation from jolly old England. A few times, the sound didn't come across as well as it could have. It wasn't bad, but it surely didn't possess a ton of life to it. There was bouncing and liveliness, but it wasn't the soundtrack.

Extras :
There are more than 36-Cs to fill up this DVD. A theatrical trailer, a few dozen still photographs, eight lobby cards, advertising materials and a review that compares the film as a ‘crude send-up of the Bond films' and a collection of video are contained in some stylish interactive menus. Sure, there are not a lot of supplements contained on the DVD, but for $15 what do you really expect. The fact the film is available on DVD should be considered special.

Summary :
I'm sure if you would ask the International Man of Mystery what he thought about "Zeta One," he'd gladly reply "Yeah! Baby!" I'm not sure I am that emphatic about the film, but I found it fun and the girls uncovered between the opening credits and the final crawl were not bad looking for the times. The plot was nonexistent and the acting left a lot to be desired, but this should only bother those who really do read Playboy for the articles or admire the layout of the pages. This film is a nice example of Sixties British Sexploitation and is cheeky fun.